Yesterday I said I was thankful for my salvation. But today I want to tell you that I am thankful for my relationship with Jesus. I know I cannot convey in one “post” everything that He means to me, however, I feel the need to share what He has done in my life this past year.
This past year has been all about change. We moved back to AL from Atlanta, opened a new business, started a new family, found a new church and have just begun to find a sense of routine in our lives again. Within all of that, Jesus has really… REALLY taught me patience, faith and to trust in him.
When David and I decided to move away for school, it was really hard. I cried every day at first because I missed my family, my job… it’s like I was mourning a past life! After a while it got better and then when we moved back, it was like starting over again. Friendships we have made are now long distance again and the life we had found was once again uprooted.
Pondering on that word uprooted… I can see how Jesus had great plans for us through this process (Jer. 29:11)! Think about it… when a plant grows so large that its roots fill the pot, you have to uproot it and put it in a new pot. This allows the plant to continue to grow and not be suffocated and eventually wither.
So was I being so complacent that I had to be uprooted for new growth? Maybe… probably!!! And just like the gardener who knows when the plant needs a new home to thrive, Jesus knew that we needed to be uprooted and taken to a new place to grow and become more of who we are meant to be.
When David and I began to prepare for our move home to Alabama and to open our new business I didn’t realize at the time (who often does?) that Jesus was once again trying to use that situation to teach me something new. And this lesson took me a while to get… and I’m still learning. This lesson was the one of faith, patience and trust in him. I cannot think of how you could only have one of these without the other. When you have patience in him to do what he says and to work in your life, you also need faith and trust that he will do it (and in his own time… this was the big one for me).
I feel that the biggest breakthrough in regards to my personal struggle with patience, faith and trust came when David and I began to try for a baby. As a woman, most of you understand that when you want a baby, it can easily turn you into a snotty-nosed brat, sitting on the floor screaming “I want it NOW!” At least I felt that way. David and I had been married for almost 7 years when we started “trying” and honestly, I never thought it would take as long to get pregnant as it did.
You probably guessed it… it wasn’t the right time… yet! So after about 10 months of trying, it finally happened. A few days after thanksgiving 2011… we found out that we were expecting! What a relief. All the worries of “could I be one that is unable” or “what is wrong with me?” finally came to a halt.
Looking back, I can definitely see how as a heavenly father, Jesus knew better than I (being a parent now, is really teaching me a lot about how Jesus knows better than I… but I’ll save those thoughts for another day). He knew that we were not ready (even though we thought we were). He knew that our lives were too crazy and busy to bring another life into this world. But when the time was right, he blessed us with such a wonderful baby boy!!! God is really good y’all!!!
And for those who are currently struggling… I pray that you find peace in the moment to trust that God does have great plans for you and that it may just not be “time” yet or maybe he has entirely different plans for you. I know that HE knows the desires of our heart (Psalm 37:4) and He knew that I had prayed (more like begged) for a baby of my own for YEARS and He finally gave it to me when the time was perfect!
So now that we were having a baby, we had to find a place to live. Very few know this, but when we moved back to Alabama to open David’s practice, we were slap broke… SERIOUSLY! Most people think that if you are a doctor and have your own practice that you must be “making it good,” but that is such a misconception. Some doctors have to work at least 20 years to find financial freedom from all the costs from school and having your own practice. And most doctors take longer. It was a huge sacrifice for us to open this business. Not only did we have to wipe out what little savings we had, but we had to move into David’s parent’s house. We lived there for a little over a year before we were able to get our own place and prepare for the baby!
Yet again, I had my bratty pity party about wanting my own place and not getting it when I felt that it was time. The difference this time is that I had my experience from trying to conceive to pull from.
When looking for our own place, we decided to purchase a mobile home and live near family. So being on a budget it took us a WHILE to find a place that I liked and that we could afford. So, we finally found a nice place that was “almost” in our budget… ha ha…. and I really, REALLY wanted this one. We considered it but after a long talk and some prayer, David said we just couldn’t really afford it. Man was I heartbroken! I sat and cried when I got off the phone with the guy to tell him we were no longer interested…
But after a few minutes, I felt this little voice say “Didn’t I give you a child when it was best, and don’t you think I’ll give you a home that is best for you? Don’t you trust me!?!” It was Jesus reminding me that when I wanted a baby he gave it to me when the timing was perfect and I know that we would have been in a bind if it had happened sooner. So in that moment I chose to wipe away my tears and put my trust, faith and patience in God that he would AGAIN provide for not only my needs but the desires of my heart.
So guess what… not just two weeks later, we found a great home. It is spacious and was well taken care of prior… and much more affordable than the one before. It was exactly in the price range that we had been looking for. What a blessing!!! God knew that he had something better in mind than that first home!
So these days I’m not completely worry free and of course I think about the future and things I would like to have or do or see… but the difference now is that I have fully put my trust, faith and patience in God that he will give me what I need… and when I need it.
You know I told you that we were slap broke when we moved home… and to be honest, I don’t even know how we made it… except that every time we had a bill that needed to be paid, God showed up. Every time we needed groceries, He provided. There have been moments when I have wanted something (not necessarily a necessity) and he has found a way to give to me. Not every time… but enough that He wants me to realize that there is nothing too big or too small for him. Philippians 4:6 says “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”
Since it is day 3 of thanksgiving, I am sincerely thankful for God’s blessings in my life and our relationship. He has PROVEN to me time after time that He will provide and that all I have to do is trust Him, have faith in Him and have patience!