So if you are wondering what phase one is, I can’t really fully explain it. You see, phase one was all about getting my heart in the right place. It was an attitude shift and a refocusing process. I started about a year ago trying to really examine my life and how I ultimately want to live it. I had felt God tug on my heart for YEARS as I continued to live for myself, ignore the needs of others, act selfishly towards my family and just be plain ‘ole sinful.
Finally after I had my son, I started to understand how much love God has for me. I’ll be transparent for a moment and tell you that I have always had a really hard time understanding how He could love me when He is perfect and I am not. I know that I am a sinner and that has always held me back from fully accepting the grace that He freely gives us.
Once I had a child of my own it gave me a glimpse into God’s love for His children. When my husband and I found out that we were having our first child we were overjoyed! I have ALWAYS wanted children and we had been married for over 8 years before having our son. I loved that baby so much from the moment I knew I was carrying him. I didn’t know if I was having a boy or a girl (we decided to wait until it was born), but I just knew that God was giving me something special. Interestingly enough, when our baby boy was born I just thought I had an idea of how much I loved him… But after holding him in my arms I was overwhelmed by my own love for him. In that moment I knew that my life was forever changed!
You see, it occurred to me that I could NEVER give my baby boy’s life for another. Especially for a murderer or a child molester! But that’s exactly what God did for us when He sent Jesus! He loved us sooo much that He gave His son to die for us. Please let that sink in… He gave His son, His flesh and blood, His baby for you and for me!
He did not want to be separated from any of His children (us) so He sent Jesus to die in our place! That’s grace, and it truly is amazing!
So phase one was all about coming to the realization that God loves me! No, He REALLY loves me! Enough that He sent Jesus for ME and enough that He has forgiven my sins so He can spend eternity with me!
What an amazing feeling to be loved so greatly! All I can do now is try to reciprocate that love. How you might ask? Phase two!